Living Life With No Regrets

About 2 weeks ago, I woke up and found out that one of my dogs happened to break off his leash and got away. I had to look all over for him and find for a temporary leash. While holding onto his broken leash, my dog suddenly tried to free himself, causing me to pull my arm and hit our screen door's lock causing my hand to have a wound. I didn't mind it at first, tied my dog with a new leash and went inside to wash my hands. Honestly, it stings so much! But I had to wash it off with soap, placed on a band aid and went on. However, my wound would still sting whenever it gets contact with anything, even water. I had a hard time shampooing my hair, or washing my hands, or touching things. After a few days, my wound became dry, however, it started itching, causing me to scratch it and peel off that brownish covering, and make it bleed again. I tried to resist scratching tho, but I just can't stand the itch.  And then I remember reading this quote: ccto I remember ...

So let me share to you what happened to me today while I was on my way to school. I think  it was between V.Mapa and Pureza station (train stations in the PH) when the train suddenly stopped, creating a "very little" fuss and shock inside the train. You see, the train is really filled with people especially in the morning since a lot of students are going to Manila where most of the universities are, so I really have no chance of being able to hold onto the safety hand rails. As the train suddenly stopped, I thought, "God. I'm not holding on anything, I'm falling on all the people who are beside me." To my surprise, a guy who's standing not so behind me caught my arm and pulled me so I wont fall down. Immediately, I said thank you as he smiled at me. Okay, let me get this straight, I am not attracted to the guy, but to his kindness alone. Please do not misjudge me. Thank you. A few minutes later, I said "Thank You" again and he smiled at me...

Often times, I ask myself, "Am I happy with my life?" or "Am I content with everything  I have right now?" and the answers don't come easily.  At times, I would be happy, but then this happiness don't really last. One day I'll be content with what I have, the other day, I won't be. It seems like a big part is missing in my life and even if I don't want to admit it, I know the answer would always be the same. I've never been this empty. It seems like I've been hiding behind a mask every single day, faking all my smiles, my laughs, even my emotions just to get through the day and let people see that I am okay. Sometimes,  I feel like it's something that I must do, something that I needed to do for myself. I've been too open to the world that I felt like my life has been an open book to everyone leaving nothing for myself. I've been on a total emotional wreck for the past months and it seems like it's not ending so soon. I ...

Almost been a week and I can say I'm not totally okay yet, but I think I'm a little better. Thanks to my friends who'd always try to do silly things to make laugh, my parents who would spoil me and let me do what I want to do these past few days and of course to God, who constantly reminds me of a lot of things through devotionals. Pain is still inside me but they're tolerable now and I think God actually did a miracle for making me feel less of the pain this fast. THANK YOU, LORD! I am really amazed how everything went so fine this time. I remember crying for months the last time I got my heart broken, but now, it has lessened as if everything happened years ago. I feel stronger and more mature now. Though there are still a lot of things I want to know, things I want to understand more and things I want to clear, I think there are things that are always better off unsaid. What's important is that you did everything you can to save the relationship, and the best p...

Here I go again. Im sorry. I've been really depressed lately, that I do not know what to do anymore. For the first time after a long time, I felt how it is to love, be loved and to be hurt again and I never actually saw this coming. Just when I thought everything was going perfectly as it should be, everything eventually became so wrong that I do not know how to fix the mess that happened anymore. I felt so helpless, so hopeless. I felt like everything is coming right at me, without the plan of just letting me go, but hitting me from head to toe till I fall down on the ground. They say history repeats itself, and I think it's happening to me right now, for the second time around. When will I ever learn? Giving your love to someone is not easy because being in a commitment means giving your trust, your time, you effort, your love to your partner. It maybe so complicated, but it's part of it. There is nothing in this world that is not complicated. May it be your relation...

Been too much depressed for almost 2 weeks now and I seriously don't know what to do anymore. I wanted to let go of all the feelings I have and just.. die. But I can't, of course. Cause I do not know how to kill myself and I know it's so illogical to do. So, I decided to just write and write and write until every little pain in me gets out. Because of depression, I seriously have no appetite for the past weeks and a lot of people are saying that I've become more thin (omg. what have i done to myself.) But I really don't feel like eating the right kinds of food and just want to eat sweets, sweets and sweets. Lately, I've been really out of mind. I tried to jump out of the window, go to the streets and cross even when the light is red, so much wanting to be in an accident, thinking that I'd rather feel physical pain than emotional pain. There was even a time when I was crossing the street going to school when a car almost hit me and.. I felt no fear of actua...

Today, I was on my way, walking, to my bestfriend's house when I passed by this man with 2 kids. They have no home, and I was sure cause they were staying in a cart. It was raining so they were staying near the train station where there was enough shade for them. As I blogged the last time, I am currently in the stated of depression (or not anymore. Idrk), so basically, I don't care about anything else but myself and how I can actually move on and get all these sh*t together. I was carrying a big bag since I was from school, with food loaded in it. I saw them and passed by them. But then there was something that spoke to me to give one of the food inside my bag (my bag was filled with marshmallows since I was supposed to give it to my bestfriend's daughter). I actually hesitated but I can't help it, knowing that there was something pushing me to do it, so I stopped walking, opened my bag and got a pack of marshmallow, walked back and gave it to the eldest kid. I can s...

Is there really a difference? These three has always played a big part in my life. And I think in everybody's life. We all need time, we all need trust and we all hope that promises be made. But how can we have trust when time is not given and promises are broken? TIME. We all need time, we all need to give time. If we don't need time, then we don't have to know what time is it, we don't have to rush the things that must be done, we don't have to do what we actually have to do, because there is no limit for us to do the certain task. And yes, we all need to give time, give time to finish the works that should be done, to give time for almost everything we do, and most specially give time to the people that are important to us. Giving time is just like giving a portion of your life that you can never get back. Which means, you give time because that person is important to you. So why do we always say "you're important to me" when we don't give...

Hey, guys! I really missed blogging but I have no time. T.T been studying real hard lately. 3-4 hours of sleep everyday, quizzes and laboratory works. Medtech is tiring, srsly. But, what can I do? I want to be a doctor someday so I really HAVE to finish this course, and will study more and more and more in the future. Examination week is over today, and stress free for today. YEY! Back to stress when papers are to be returned and.. *drum roll please* WILL I EVEN PASS MY MICROBIOLOGY SUBJECT??!!! I mean, it's so haaaarrrrdddd. Or maybe im still a little lazy in studying. So many things happened, I missed the time to write about all of them. Hopefully I'll have the time to blog weekly or at least every other week. Hope everyone's doing well! God bless everyone!

I had a conversation with our Youth Pastor, Kuya Eric, and some other youth in our church just after our youth activity ended. The funny thing is, the conversation was about what matters most in relationships. I do have someone special right now and he lives in our province while I study in the city. We basically see each other only on saturdays and sundays and we feel having a kinda long distance relationship. That is why this topic was brought up. Today, I invited my guy bestfriend to come over and join in our fellowship which gave a little awkward feeling for my friends in church since "he" was there too. Pastor Eric, (wait. I not used to call him that lol) actually have a girlfriend who is currently in a place far fro our church. She lives somewhere in the northern part and we're somewhat down here. lol so they meet each other for a week every month, making us ask if it isn't hard for them, and he admitted that it is. And so the topic was change from their love ...

I have always loved everyone around me. I treat everyone as my friend, some the closest, some, the best. But then there is always something that makes me sad having so much people too close with me: THEY LEAVE ME. I remember having a friend whom I always thought to be someone close to me. I remember often going to her house, to teach her play the guitar, or sometimes go to some church activities, we practiced singing and dancing together, even her parents know me. I became close to her that I treat like my own sister. But as we grew up, she began to go away from me. Further and further, till I can't reach her anymore, and seems like she has changed into another person. Until there came a time I became bitter of her and, I must admit, I said things that were not good about her. I hate people who leaves. I am a Korean/Japanese/Taiwanese Drama lover, and I have watched a lot of dramas with so many goodbyes, and I should say that I become too emotional about it, it seems like, I can...

We all want to be understood by the people we expect to understand us most. Our parents, our friends, those people who are really close to us, we all want them to understand the things we do, we say and we want. But what if these people are the ones who do not understand us? My mom had always knew what I am able to do, where I am best at and what I wanted to do. Yes, she knows everything I want.  And my mom knows that I want to be an artist, or something that's related to media: maybe a Film Director, and Actress, a singer, composer, whatever, but i at least want to be someone involved in the field of arts. I know my mom knows I do well whenever I'm involved in these things, it is well known to everyone around me, and yes, some people would say that I would succeed in these fields., yet my mom had always just smiled whenever people says things like that and tell them I would be a doctor. I know it was a mistake taking MedTech in the first place, if I really have no plans o...