Often times, I ask myself, "Am I happy with my life?" or "Am I content with everything I have right now?" and the answers don't come easily. At times, I would be happy, but then this happiness don't really last. One day I'll be content with what I have, the other day, I won't be. It seems like a big part is missing in my life and even if I don't want to admit it, I know the answer would always be the same. I've never been this empty. It seems like I've been hiding behind a mask every single day, faking all my smiles, my laughs, even my emotions just to get through the day and let people see that I am okay. Sometimes, I feel like it's something that I must do, something that I needed to do for myself. I've been too open to the world that I felt like my life has been an open book to everyone leaving nothing for myself. I've been on a total emotional wreck for the past months and it seems like it's not ending so soon.
I came to ask the same question to someone a few times. " Are you happy? Are you happy with your choices?" and he would answer me the same thing, all the time: he wasn't sure if he is.. I asked him, "how come you're not sure when it was a choice you made?" and he would not speak about it.
Until I asked him again today and got the same response.
Right then I realized, the choices we make doesn't always have to make us happy. Sometimes our choices are to make things right, they are to make things better no matter how painful it would be to bear. I realized that sometimes we choose to hurt people not because we're also hurting but we hate to hurt them more if we continue what we're doing. We choose to go away not because we want to, but because if we continue to stay, there will be more pain which will make things more complicated. I realized that our choices doesn't always have to depend on our own feelings, but sometimes we make our choices for the people around us, for the people we love, the people we wish not to hurt more.
And I've got 2 choices: I forget and move one or continue to stay in this misery to be with what makes me complete. Two choices I've been battling with ever since. Two choices that could either give me the contentment and happiness that would make me full again or regrets that I will carry for the rest of my life.
Our choices are so powerful that it can make or break people. It can affect one's life greatly. It can either make you feel contented or make you feel regret. Whatever our choice was, it was ours to make. So please, always think about your choices and consequences carefully. You won't want to live a life full of regrets.
I came to ask the same question to someone a few times. " Are you happy? Are you happy with your choices?" and he would answer me the same thing, all the time: he wasn't sure if he is.. I asked him, "how come you're not sure when it was a choice you made?" and he would not speak about it.
Until I asked him again today and got the same response.
Right then I realized, the choices we make doesn't always have to make us happy. Sometimes our choices are to make things right, they are to make things better no matter how painful it would be to bear. I realized that sometimes we choose to hurt people not because we're also hurting but we hate to hurt them more if we continue what we're doing. We choose to go away not because we want to, but because if we continue to stay, there will be more pain which will make things more complicated. I realized that our choices doesn't always have to depend on our own feelings, but sometimes we make our choices for the people around us, for the people we love, the people we wish not to hurt more.
And I've got 2 choices: I forget and move one or continue to stay in this misery to be with what makes me complete. Two choices I've been battling with ever since. Two choices that could either give me the contentment and happiness that would make me full again or regrets that I will carry for the rest of my life.
Our choices are so powerful that it can make or break people. It can affect one's life greatly. It can either make you feel contented or make you feel regret. Whatever our choice was, it was ours to make. So please, always think about your choices and consequences carefully. You won't want to live a life full of regrets.
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