Been months since I said I was moving on and that I am getting better but guess what? That doesn't seem to be the case. Every little thing comes back everytime I'm reminded of the thing that hurts me the most. I get too emotional at times, I get out of the mood and just not talk to anyone. You see, I am not someone who knows how to hide her emotions well and so you'll easily know my mood through my facial expressions.
I thought, through time, things would change, but it seems like emotions are staying too long in my system that it's become too heavy to drag myself and move on. Seeing the thing/s that causes you pain almost everytime doesn't help. It's making it worse but you can't even do anything but to stand there and watch it all kill you for the nth time, feel your heart break into pieces all over again and pretend that you're okay with it and that it doesn't even bother you at all. And it pisses me off how people are too insensitive and inconsiderate about your feelings.
But in the end, you'd still wish for them to be there. You expect them to be around, to see them even if you don't want to. Because there's that little hope in you that maybe things will turn out the way you want them to. Maybe it was just temporary and things will eventually become better between you and the things that hurt you. I don't know. I don't even know at all. All I know right now is that I'm hurting and that I want to stop my emotions from working in me. When will I even escape this misery?
I thought, through time, things would change, but it seems like emotions are staying too long in my system that it's become too heavy to drag myself and move on. Seeing the thing/s that causes you pain almost everytime doesn't help. It's making it worse but you can't even do anything but to stand there and watch it all kill you for the nth time, feel your heart break into pieces all over again and pretend that you're okay with it and that it doesn't even bother you at all. And it pisses me off how people are too insensitive and inconsiderate about your feelings.
But in the end, you'd still wish for them to be there. You expect them to be around, to see them even if you don't want to. Because there's that little hope in you that maybe things will turn out the way you want them to. Maybe it was just temporary and things will eventually become better between you and the things that hurt you. I don't know. I don't even know at all. All I know right now is that I'm hurting and that I want to stop my emotions from working in me. When will I even escape this misery?
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