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Showing posts from April, 2015

When things don't change

Been months since I said I was moving on and that I am getting better but guess what? That doesn't seem to be the case. Every little thing comes back everytime I'm reminded of the thing that hurts me the most. I get too emotional at times, I get out of the mood and just not talk to anyone. You see, I am not someone who knows how to hide her emotions well and so you'll easily know my mood through my facial expressions. I thought, through time, things would change, but it seems like emotions are staying too long in my system that it's become too heavy to drag myself and move on. Seeing the thing/s that causes you pain almost everytime doesn't help. It's making it worse but you can't even do anything but to stand there and watch it all kill you for the nth time, feel your heart break into pieces all over again and pretend that you're okay with it and that it doesn't even bother you at all. And it pisses me off how people are too insensitive and incons

Choices

Often times, I ask myself, "Am I happy with my life?" or "Am I content with everything  I have right now?" and the answers don't come easily.  At times, I would be happy, but then this happiness don't really last. One day I'll be content with what I have, the other day, I won't be. It seems like a big part is missing in my life and even if I don't want to admit it, I know the answer would always be the same. I've never been this empty. It seems like I've been hiding behind a mask every single day, faking all my smiles, my laughs, even my emotions just to get through the day and let people see that I am okay. Sometimes,  I feel like it's something that I must do, something that I needed to do for myself. I've been too open to the world that I felt like my life has been an open book to everyone leaving nothing for myself. I've been on a total emotional wreck for the past months and it seems like it's not ending so soon. I